Me

So here is the deal... I have invasive ductal carcinoma... temporarily!!

A couple of months ago I noticed a lump in my left breast just above the nipple. At the time I wasn't concerned because I thought I found a similar lump on the other side just smaller. I figured it was part of the nipple structure. Plus, it hadn't been that long since we stopped nursing so it could have been something residual. Right?? Wrong... very wrong.

About a month later I decided to call my gyn just to see what they'd say since my annual appointment isn't until October. I explained what I was thinking and was told to call back if it was still bothering me. Ok, I guess there is some validity to what I as thinking...

Fast forward to Saturday, August 28th. We had a great night at the drive-in, but I couldn't sleep even though we got home in the wee hours of the morning... this is very rare for me. I love my sleep! I decided that night (with Dan's insistence after being woken up at 2am) to call the doctor again.

Monday, August 30th I called and they squeezed me in that afternoon. Unfortunately my doctor was out that week so I saw another doctor in the practice. He told me that I did not have cancer because I wasn't in the right age bracket, it was round and it didn't hurt when he moved it, but it was big enough that it had to be removed so he sent me for a sonogram and a mammogram. He called it a fibroadenoma.

Off to the radiology place I went on Wednesday, September 1st. Imagine my surprise when the sonographer brought the doctor back in with her to do another sonogram for him to watch on the screen. I asked the doctor for his opinion and he told me that he didn't want to cause undue anxiety (um... too late!!). I told him that my doctor had told me I have a fibroadenoma. He said that it isn't a normal looking one if that is what it is and that they're usually less than 2 cm. I knew that mine measured 3 cm by 2.5 cm. Hmmm...

So, off to their other location the next day for a biopsy. It also happened to be my birthday... happy birthday to me!! A different doctor did the biopsy and once again I asked for his opinion. He told me that if he was 90% or more sure it wasn't cancer, he'd tell me. But, he wasn't... he just didn't know. He did say that it was not a typical benign mass.

At this point I was rather stressed. We went away for the weekend without hearing my results. I kept telling myself that the radiologist place was being cautious. The gyn wouldn't tell me I didn't have cancer if there was any chance that I did, right? There is no breast cancer in my immediate family so I couldn't have it, could I? Nope, no way.

On Tuesday, September 7th I watched Tyler get on the bus for his first day of Kindergarten. Then I went home and called my gyn for my results. They said they'd call me back. I hung around for a bit and then needed to get out of the house. Off to Walmart I went to print pictures with Ryan in tow. So this is how I happened to be in the checkout line at Walmart when I found out I have breast cancer.

I have to say that I was relieved when I got my diagnosis. It was better knowing than wondering. Now I could resolve myself to kick this thing. I have had some moments of tears since then, but mostly I am ok. In just a few days I've found out just how much support we have from family, friends and co-workers. That gives me the confidence, energy and drive to kick it. I have cancer, but it does NOT have me! I do not feel sorry for myself.

Today Dan and I went for our first appointment with a surgeon at Roswell Park Cancer Institute. I spoke to this doctor Wednesday evening. At that time he told me that he would recommend chemo with a lumpectomy at age 36 and a 3 cm cancer. This gave me time to digest before meeting with him officially. He confirmed his recommendation today although I still have a lot more tests to complete and I have to meet with other professionals before a formal plan will be in place. For now it sounds like I will receive chemo first before surgery. I will probably lose my hair. I don't have much anyway so this is minor. It will save me at least 10 minutes every morning!! And, now I have a very legitimate reason to go SHOPPING!!

We have a second opinion scheduled for next week along with more appointments at RPCI.

Crazy stuff, huh??!! I am all ears for positive energy and success stories. Give me six months and I'll add a success story to the list...