A Week Alone

This week has been humbling. Dan and the boys left at 5am Monday morning and today is Sunday so they’ll be home this evening. 7 full days home alone.

Dan set me up so that I wouldn’t have to leave the first floor of the house. He filled the fridge/freezer with food, staged supplies from the basement in the hallway, moved my ‘office’ downstairs, etc. I’ve been bunking in Ryan’s room. It is rather comfortable!!

Work is the 1 thing I can do like a normal person so that kept me occupied during the day midweek and so far today. Friends stopped by with dinner or took me out 4 out of 5 weeknights with an offer for the 5th plus I canceled on plans last night as it was a chemo recovery day (Blech) and had more offers of help over the weekend. I have such a great group of people surrounding me. So blessed.

But, despite all that, my world feels so small. I can’t do all that I wish… All that I feel good enough to do besides this stupid hip issue. Mentally, I feel good and am clearheaded. I watched TV most of the day yesterday and am so done with that. The sun is shining, but the pool is out of reach. My usual escape is shopping and that’s too much. Boo! Dan probably won’t be happy with the online shopping I did this week for Ty’s dorm!!

And then I think of those who don’t have a Dan. How do they survive alone when it hurts to do the basics? I’ve fought the urge to leave my garbage and other discards around the house, but it would be so easy just to leave it there. I understand how that happens now. Do I clean it up and hurt while I do it or just leave it there? What if the boys weren’t coming home to unload the dishwasher, empty the garbage and do the laundry? Humbling.

All these musing… it leaves me appreciative. And determined to get my life back. I want to be a friend, mom, wife, daughter, sister…and not a drain on those around me. Thankfully nobody except me makes me feel that way.

Our Lucy is missing Dan too. I won’t let her lick me. She actually tried! I’m sure tonight will be quite the lick-fest!