One down and only thirty-two more to go!! Woo Hoo!
I think today was as exciting as it is going to get... and that is pretty sad considering today was a non-event.
"My" machine, number 4, was down so we had to use number 1 which didn't have the fancy goggles. Of course that would have to happen on my first day. All in all it wasn't a big deal and didn't even delay me more than 5 minutes.
They did 5 zaps. Two on one side, two on the other and one in the middle so the machine only has to move 2 times. It took longer to line me up than it did to administer the radiation. I wish there was some sort of hand held device I could use to radiate myself so I didn't have to drive there, walk in and change. It is such a hassle for the amount of treatment time.
I think I've been leading a sheltered life with my treatment until now. For the most part I've been going to the breast center so it didn't occur to me that I am now in a place where men are being treated too!! Go figure! One of those men forgot to close the door to his changing room today. Surprise!! I'm really not sure how that happened. There are three separate changing rooms off of a small hallway. Inside each changing room is a stall with another door. Both doors close and both have locks. I guess I can understand not locking the doors, but wouldn't you close at least one? I just don't understand. Oh, and there are women receiving radiation for other types of cancer... yes, I've had some tunnel vision. And, I'm a bit jealous of the woman having her hand radiated because she doesn't have to change!!
April 13th if all goes well and this will all be a memory.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Winter Fun
The boys and I decided that today was a great day for sledding. 10 inches of fresh snow and temperatures around 30 degrees. Perfect! So we headed out to a local park to meet some friends. We've never ventured anywhere else for sledding besides the bump at the park behind our house so this was a real treat.
This place was the most organized sledding experience that I've ever seen.... actually, it might be the only place I've seen that has attempted organization. They had specific runs designated for age groups and had walkways identified to get back up the hill without being run over. Nice!
The building was open so we were able to eat our picnic lunch while our mittens dried by the fire. I think I'm spoiled now.
This place was the most organized sledding experience that I've ever seen.... actually, it might be the only place I've seen that has attempted organization. They had specific runs designated for age groups and had walkways identified to get back up the hill without being run over. Nice!
The building was open so we were able to eat our picnic lunch while our mittens dried by the fire. I think I'm spoiled now. Ryan and I took our first ride together down the 8 and under run... unfortunately we ended up face down in a pile of snow. So, we spent the rest of the time on the 5 and under run. He recovered quickly.
I didn't get many pictures of Tyler and his friend Liam. Here's one of the few I have... hello down there!
Ryan was having a great time at the top of the hill which was good because he was heavy to drag up the hill!
I ended up with two very happy boys.
After a couple of hours we headed home and since Dan wasn't back yet, we built a snowman!! Not only was the snow fresh... it packs great!
Of course we had to have hot cocoa when we were all done.
Ryan really got into his! This picture is deceiving... he was much messier in person!
What a great day!
I didn't get many pictures of Tyler and his friend Liam. Here's one of the few I have... hello down there!
Ryan was having a great time at the top of the hill which was good because he was heavy to drag up the hill!
I ended up with two very happy boys.
After a couple of hours we headed home and since Dan wasn't back yet, we built a snowman!! Not only was the snow fresh... it packs great!
Of course we had to have hot cocoa when we were all done.
Ryan really got into his! This picture is deceiving... he was much messier in person!
What a great day! Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Busted!
Ryan has been exerting his independence more and more lately providing for some humorous situations.
He has decided that he no longer needs naps. The weekend before last Dan and Tyler went out so I was left with Ryan alone. Since I can't get him in and out of his crib, I decided we'd lay down together in my bed for a nap. About an hour later I woke up alone! Whoops! Luckily he was just down the hall playing with his trains.
This past Saturday he also refused a nap. And, he ended up like this at 6:30pm.
Sunday night we expedited moving him to a big boy bed so that I don't have to deal with the crib. Well, that has been an experience. This morning I came downstairs half asleep like I normally do and was rubbing my eyes in the doorway of the kitchen when I heard "Hi Mommy!" I opened my eyes to find Ryan sitting in his chair at the kitchen table. Surprise! Then he said "I eat." Ok then, the boy knows what he needs. I wonder how long he was sitting there??
Tonight I was cleaning up around the house and decided that this lovely piece of art could be circular filed. Laundry detergent cap artwork only has a shelf-life of a week around here...
Well, about two minutes later Ryan came out of the kitchen holding his piece and with quite the scowl on his face he stated "not garbage!" Yes, I got BUSTED... rookie mistake...
He has decided that he no longer needs naps. The weekend before last Dan and Tyler went out so I was left with Ryan alone. Since I can't get him in and out of his crib, I decided we'd lay down together in my bed for a nap. About an hour later I woke up alone! Whoops! Luckily he was just down the hall playing with his trains.
This past Saturday he also refused a nap. And, he ended up like this at 6:30pm.
Sunday night we expedited moving him to a big boy bed so that I don't have to deal with the crib. Well, that has been an experience. This morning I came downstairs half asleep like I normally do and was rubbing my eyes in the doorway of the kitchen when I heard "Hi Mommy!" I opened my eyes to find Ryan sitting in his chair at the kitchen table. Surprise! Then he said "I eat." Ok then, the boy knows what he needs. I wonder how long he was sitting there??
Tonight I was cleaning up around the house and decided that this lovely piece of art could be circular filed. Laundry detergent cap artwork only has a shelf-life of a week around here...
Well, about two minutes later Ryan came out of the kitchen holding his piece and with quite the scowl on his face he stated "not garbage!" Yes, I got BUSTED... rookie mistake... Here are the boys this evening after Ryan's bath. I think he forgave me.
Radiation Planning
Today was quite a day. I realized that you really do have to separate your mind from your body. If you don't, this whole experience can be quite humiliating. I'll warn you now... this post borders on too much information. But, this is my reality.
The purpose of the day was to take the measurements necessary for radiation to start on Monday. And, it started with providing a urine sample... lucky me. I tried to argue that there was no possible way I am pregnant and asked if they could use the test from my surgery. Nope, they even make the lesbian nuns (their words, not mine) take the test so I wasn't getting out of it. Ugh!
It got much worse from there. I did manage to keep myself from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
Talk about feeling on display... they had me on my back with no clothes from the waist up while 4 people hovered over me, moving me into position, putting on stickers, moving the stickers, drawing all over me, and taking pictures (!) from every angle. Yes, there was actually a guy with a standard digital camera walking around me taking pictures.
Then they did a CT scan of my chest cavity while I breathed normally and while practicing "respiratory gating" (aka holding your breath). Does everything have to have a fancy name? They made it like a game. I had to wear goggles that showed me a screen. On the screen was a blue box toward the top and a yellow line towards the bottom that moved when I breathed. I had to take a deep breath to get the yellow line into the blue box and hold it. Very interesting stuff. Supposedly this will show them if this technique is going to move my heart enough to get it out of the radiation field.
Oh, they also reviewed the potential side effects from radiation. One of the side effects that I could experience is the ability to sense weather changes in the impacted area. You know, so instead of saying "I can feel it in my bones," I get to say "I can feel it in my boob!"
The last step of the day was receiving four really small tattoos. These things are super tiny. If you look in the middle of the purple lines you may see a dot. That is the tattoo.
The purpose of the day was to take the measurements necessary for radiation to start on Monday. And, it started with providing a urine sample... lucky me. I tried to argue that there was no possible way I am pregnant and asked if they could use the test from my surgery. Nope, they even make the lesbian nuns (their words, not mine) take the test so I wasn't getting out of it. Ugh!
It got much worse from there. I did manage to keep myself from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
Talk about feeling on display... they had me on my back with no clothes from the waist up while 4 people hovered over me, moving me into position, putting on stickers, moving the stickers, drawing all over me, and taking pictures (!) from every angle. Yes, there was actually a guy with a standard digital camera walking around me taking pictures.
Then they did a CT scan of my chest cavity while I breathed normally and while practicing "respiratory gating" (aka holding your breath). Does everything have to have a fancy name? They made it like a game. I had to wear goggles that showed me a screen. On the screen was a blue box toward the top and a yellow line towards the bottom that moved when I breathed. I had to take a deep breath to get the yellow line into the blue box and hold it. Very interesting stuff. Supposedly this will show them if this technique is going to move my heart enough to get it out of the radiation field.
Oh, they also reviewed the potential side effects from radiation. One of the side effects that I could experience is the ability to sense weather changes in the impacted area. You know, so instead of saying "I can feel it in my bones," I get to say "I can feel it in my boob!"
The last step of the day was receiving four really small tattoos. These things are super tiny. If you look in the middle of the purple lines you may see a dot. That is the tattoo.
They may be small, but it sure did HURT! After that experience I've decided that I won't be getting any voluntary tattoos. It wasn't horrible, and it was over very quickly, but I can't imagine having a large tattoo done. So I won't be playing connect the dots when this is all over. Darn!
By the way, my snarkiness last week paid off... the doctor said that he can reduce the number of treatments to 33 instead of 36 by increasing the dosage a tiny bit over the remaining 25 regular treatments. Yay! The 8 boosters will remain the same.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hair - 6 Weeks Out
Here we are, six weeks since chemo and I have some hair!! Woo hoo! Check this out...
I'm really hoping it fills in enough in the next month to be able to take off my hat in public. I don't care how short it is, but I don't want to be able to see through it!
My eyebrows are in really bad shape, but new hair is growing. Right now it just looks like a dark haze, but soon enough I think I'll have real eyebrows and eyelashes. Simple pleasures.
In the meantime, life in our house keeps plugging along. Ryan is getting more daring every day and is a menace with a crayon in his hand. Tyler continues to cause mischief in school. Earlier this week his color was changed on the behavior chart because he was sitting at his desk with his leg through the back of his chair!?!
I thought I'd share a couple of boy love pictures. They've both had a serious case of the sillies lately!
My three favorite people!
I'm really hoping it fills in enough in the next month to be able to take off my hat in public. I don't care how short it is, but I don't want to be able to see through it!
My eyebrows are in really bad shape, but new hair is growing. Right now it just looks like a dark haze, but soon enough I think I'll have real eyebrows and eyelashes. Simple pleasures.
In the meantime, life in our house keeps plugging along. Ryan is getting more daring every day and is a menace with a crayon in his hand. Tyler continues to cause mischief in school. Earlier this week his color was changed on the behavior chart because he was sitting at his desk with his leg through the back of his chair!?!
I thought I'd share a couple of boy love pictures. They've both had a serious case of the sillies lately!
My three favorite people!
Are We Done Yet??
I am so done with this whole cancer thing. I'm done talking about it, researching it, thinking about it... I'm just done. Except I can't be done. Nope, I still need 36 rounds of radiation!! Aaarrgh! (Yes, it has been a snarky kind of a day.)
So I've decided to make a nuisance of myself at the hospital! I might as well have some fun with all of this and I started with my first radiation consult this morning. Those lucky people!
I was really hoping to get started quickly so I could be done quickly. All along I've been told I need 6 weeks of radiation so in my head I was thinking I would be done on April Fools Day. Turns out the joke is on me and I can't start until at least the 28th. And I need 7 weeks plus 1 day of treatment so that puts me done on April 18th. That just added 2.5 weeks to my kicked cancer's a$$ timeline!! I tried mighty hard not to let that happen.
The doctor told me that he likes to wait at least 4 weeks after surgery to ensure the incisions have healed. I showed him my incisions and told him that they're already healed so no worries... strike one.
The doctor told me he wants to give me time to regain mobility in my arm so that I can raise it above my head for treatment. I told him I'd raise my arm above my head today if we could get started... strike two.
The doctor told me that they would be placing three small tattoos that will be used as markers during treatment. I asked if he could make them heart shaped... he said I could do anything I wanted... after they were done using them. The man is good at my game.
He told me he needs to have a planning session with a CT scan and then another appointment for a dry run before we can get started. Fine. I gave up.
Get this... I have to hold my breath during radiation to get my heart out of the way. Can you believe that?? All of this sci fi fancy stuff and I have to hold my breath?? Since my former cancer was on the left, my heart is in the radiation field. They say that when you hold your breath with your lungs filled, your heart gets narrower and longer moving it out of the radiation field. He even showed me fancy pictures of this. So over the next week I have to lay on my back with my arms over my head and practice holding my breath as long as I can for 5 minutes. Tyler and Ryan are going to have a field day with this exercise!! On top of that, they're going to put some sort of box on my chest that will detect me breathing so it can stop the machine. The less I breath, the faster I get done. Think I can hold my breath for a minute? He said the average is 20 - 30 seconds at a time, but I am not average.
Oh, and remember the surgeon who said that the number of nodes doesn't matter?? Well, if it doesn't matter then why did this doctor feel the need to confirm I had 30 nodes removed and then exclaim "impressive"? Yes, I did have 30 nodes removed and it doesn't feel good, but I'll still get my arm over my head if you would just START now.
I will receive 28 rounds of standard radiation and 8 boosts. Thanks to that 1 node with the microscopic bit of cancer, my clavicle/node area will also receive radiation. Fun stuff I tell ya! I'm told that my chances of a local recurrence with a mastectomy would have been 7%. With a lumpectomy alone it would be 14%, but by adding this radiation it goes down to 8%. So, we'll do the radiation... every day except Saturday and Sunday... for 7 weeks and 1 day.... starting February 28th. Ugh!
I was successful in obtaining my prescription for the drug I'll have to start taking the day after radiation ends so I can get that set up through mail order. And another script for a compression sleeve. At least I accomplished that today! I also told Dan that we're going to have to drive 45 minutes to a durable medical equipment store even though there is one 10 minutes from the house so I can look at pretty ones. We both know I won't choose a pretty one because it isn't practicle enough, but I still want to look. He must love me! Lymphedema doesn't sound like a lot of fun and I want to do everything I can to avoid it despite what the surgeon says. Maybe there isn't evidence that a sleeve helps, but at least I feel like I'm doing something. He's not the one at risk for a swollen arm! I intend to keep my wedding rings on from now until I die... in 50 years.
I participate in a forum called the Young Survivor Coalition and there is an on-line group for people going through treatment at the same time. It is a great resource and good place to go for a reality check. One of those fine young ladies coined a term today called Extreme Lymphedema Paranoia (ELP). I love it!! It describes some of what is going on with me perfectly... and it is so nice to know I'm not alone in my craziness. So from now on when I start to get concerned about a side effect that I am not experiencing, just know it is the ELP.
I often stop and wonder how I got here. This is such a bizarre alternate universe. I hope I wake up soon.
You know, they call anyone who has been diagnosed a "survivor" from the day of diagnosis. Isn't that a bit weird? I have to say that I don't feel like a survivor... maybe a pin cushion... but certainly not a survivor. I need active treatment to be over so I can be free. Maybe then I'll feel like I survived.
I will meet my grandchildren. I have to. I already have toys set aside for them.
So I've decided to make a nuisance of myself at the hospital! I might as well have some fun with all of this and I started with my first radiation consult this morning. Those lucky people!
I was really hoping to get started quickly so I could be done quickly. All along I've been told I need 6 weeks of radiation so in my head I was thinking I would be done on April Fools Day. Turns out the joke is on me and I can't start until at least the 28th. And I need 7 weeks plus 1 day of treatment so that puts me done on April 18th. That just added 2.5 weeks to my kicked cancer's a$$ timeline!! I tried mighty hard not to let that happen.
The doctor told me that he likes to wait at least 4 weeks after surgery to ensure the incisions have healed. I showed him my incisions and told him that they're already healed so no worries... strike one.
The doctor told me he wants to give me time to regain mobility in my arm so that I can raise it above my head for treatment. I told him I'd raise my arm above my head today if we could get started... strike two.
The doctor told me that they would be placing three small tattoos that will be used as markers during treatment. I asked if he could make them heart shaped... he said I could do anything I wanted... after they were done using them. The man is good at my game.
He told me he needs to have a planning session with a CT scan and then another appointment for a dry run before we can get started. Fine. I gave up.
Get this... I have to hold my breath during radiation to get my heart out of the way. Can you believe that?? All of this sci fi fancy stuff and I have to hold my breath?? Since my former cancer was on the left, my heart is in the radiation field. They say that when you hold your breath with your lungs filled, your heart gets narrower and longer moving it out of the radiation field. He even showed me fancy pictures of this. So over the next week I have to lay on my back with my arms over my head and practice holding my breath as long as I can for 5 minutes. Tyler and Ryan are going to have a field day with this exercise!! On top of that, they're going to put some sort of box on my chest that will detect me breathing so it can stop the machine. The less I breath, the faster I get done. Think I can hold my breath for a minute? He said the average is 20 - 30 seconds at a time, but I am not average.
Oh, and remember the surgeon who said that the number of nodes doesn't matter?? Well, if it doesn't matter then why did this doctor feel the need to confirm I had 30 nodes removed and then exclaim "impressive"? Yes, I did have 30 nodes removed and it doesn't feel good, but I'll still get my arm over my head if you would just START now.
I will receive 28 rounds of standard radiation and 8 boosts. Thanks to that 1 node with the microscopic bit of cancer, my clavicle/node area will also receive radiation. Fun stuff I tell ya! I'm told that my chances of a local recurrence with a mastectomy would have been 7%. With a lumpectomy alone it would be 14%, but by adding this radiation it goes down to 8%. So, we'll do the radiation... every day except Saturday and Sunday... for 7 weeks and 1 day.... starting February 28th. Ugh!
I was successful in obtaining my prescription for the drug I'll have to start taking the day after radiation ends so I can get that set up through mail order. And another script for a compression sleeve. At least I accomplished that today! I also told Dan that we're going to have to drive 45 minutes to a durable medical equipment store even though there is one 10 minutes from the house so I can look at pretty ones. We both know I won't choose a pretty one because it isn't practicle enough, but I still want to look. He must love me! Lymphedema doesn't sound like a lot of fun and I want to do everything I can to avoid it despite what the surgeon says. Maybe there isn't evidence that a sleeve helps, but at least I feel like I'm doing something. He's not the one at risk for a swollen arm! I intend to keep my wedding rings on from now until I die... in 50 years.
I participate in a forum called the Young Survivor Coalition and there is an on-line group for people going through treatment at the same time. It is a great resource and good place to go for a reality check. One of those fine young ladies coined a term today called Extreme Lymphedema Paranoia (ELP). I love it!! It describes some of what is going on with me perfectly... and it is so nice to know I'm not alone in my craziness. So from now on when I start to get concerned about a side effect that I am not experiencing, just know it is the ELP.
I often stop and wonder how I got here. This is such a bizarre alternate universe. I hope I wake up soon.
You know, they call anyone who has been diagnosed a "survivor" from the day of diagnosis. Isn't that a bit weird? I have to say that I don't feel like a survivor... maybe a pin cushion... but certainly not a survivor. I need active treatment to be over so I can be free. Maybe then I'll feel like I survived.
I will meet my grandchildren. I have to. I already have toys set aside for them.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Great News X 2
The first piece of great news is that no other lymph nodes tested positive. This is awesome!! It is unfortunate that they had to remove them, but what are you going to do, right?? They took 26 nodes in addition to the 4 sentinel nodes for a total of 30 nodes (with only one testing positive for cancer). But, the doctor explained that the number of nodes doesn't mean anything. You can have a lot of little nodes or a few big nodes... same difference.
The tumor itself measured at 1.8 cm and was removed with clean margins. But, that was a given in my opinion.
The second piece of great news is that the drain was removed!! I was really sweating this because I called yesterday and was told that he wouldn't remove the drain until the output was less than 30 ccs. My output was 40 - 50ccs depending on how active I was. Luckily he thought it would be fine as long as I am careful with the arm for a few days so that fluid doesn't build up.
That drain was a pain in the rear and very disgusting. So, of course, I thought I should share a picture!!
Isn't it lovely? The tube was quite long and went right into my skin under my armpit. Yuck! I had to keep it pinned to my shirt. We would have to "milk" it by pushing the fluid down the tube into the drain, dump it, and squeeze it for pressure. I'm so glad that isn't necessary any longer.
The surgeon didn't seem concerned about my lymphedema risk which was nice to hear after the significant warnings I received while in the hospital. I don't want to have to worry about it daily for the rest of my life. I guess it isn't that big of a deal, but I really don't want a swollen arm. After some limited Internet searching I learned that this can happen because some of my plumbing that carries fluid was removed. So, if I have an injury or trauma to my left arm and my body sends extra fluid, I don't have enough plumbing to get the fluid back out. But, that isn't going to happen.
For now, I'm looking forward to returning to my office tomorrow morning and slowly building myself back up to all of my normal activities. Mom and Dad have been here for almost two weeks and have been a huge help. I'm not sure how I would have made it through this time without them.
The tumor itself measured at 1.8 cm and was removed with clean margins. But, that was a given in my opinion.
The second piece of great news is that the drain was removed!! I was really sweating this because I called yesterday and was told that he wouldn't remove the drain until the output was less than 30 ccs. My output was 40 - 50ccs depending on how active I was. Luckily he thought it would be fine as long as I am careful with the arm for a few days so that fluid doesn't build up.
That drain was a pain in the rear and very disgusting. So, of course, I thought I should share a picture!!
Isn't it lovely? The tube was quite long and went right into my skin under my armpit. Yuck! I had to keep it pinned to my shirt. We would have to "milk" it by pushing the fluid down the tube into the drain, dump it, and squeeze it for pressure. I'm so glad that isn't necessary any longer. The surgeon didn't seem concerned about my lymphedema risk which was nice to hear after the significant warnings I received while in the hospital. I don't want to have to worry about it daily for the rest of my life. I guess it isn't that big of a deal, but I really don't want a swollen arm. After some limited Internet searching I learned that this can happen because some of my plumbing that carries fluid was removed. So, if I have an injury or trauma to my left arm and my body sends extra fluid, I don't have enough plumbing to get the fluid back out. But, that isn't going to happen.
For now, I'm looking forward to returning to my office tomorrow morning and slowly building myself back up to all of my normal activities. Mom and Dad have been here for almost two weeks and have been a huge help. I'm not sure how I would have made it through this time without them.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Status
No news is good news, right?? There isn't anything exciting going on in our world right now.
I tried calling the doctors office Friday morning for a release to work tomorrow and got shot down... big time! So I'll be home at least through my doctors appointment Thursday afternoon. Grr! Hopefully I'll get my drain removed during that appointment and I'll be back to work on Friday. It is going to take a lot to keep me home. In the meantime I plan on working from here. And, since I'm stuck here I asked my parents to stay as well. Misery loves company, right?? Ha! The truth is that I have no idea how I'm going to care for our 40 pound two-year-old!!
Mom drove me to the outlets today in an effort not to crawl the walls. She told me that I had been through hell so I could buy myself whatever I wanted. So I did! I'm looking forward to returning to work in my nice new white shirt with snazzy black vest. I also got the matching necklace. I love it!! I may even wear it this week so I'll have an authentic work experience without the drive.
I've also found time to surf the net shopping for furniture. I found a piece that I love for the living room and tried to play the cancer card with Dan. But, he informed me that I don't have cancer anymore. Bummer! One week too late!
My recovery itself seems to have plateaued. I've been at about the same place since Thursday. Fortunately it is a good place to be. I think it is the drain tube coming through my skin in my armpit that is causing my residual pain and soreness. The good news is that the fluid has changed to a yellowish color and the amount has decreased significantly. It is still disgusting! I've been weaning myself off my pain pills and hopefully tomorrow will be my first day pill free.
I can't thank everyone enough for the thoughts and prayers that are being sent our way. I am humbled by the amount of love that is out there. Dan and I are trying to figure out how in this world we can give back as much as we have received. I think it is going to take a lifetime! We're going to start by volunteering our time for the Ride for Roswell in June. I should be done with active treatment by that time and will be looking for more opportunities to help.
I tried calling the doctors office Friday morning for a release to work tomorrow and got shot down... big time! So I'll be home at least through my doctors appointment Thursday afternoon. Grr! Hopefully I'll get my drain removed during that appointment and I'll be back to work on Friday. It is going to take a lot to keep me home. In the meantime I plan on working from here. And, since I'm stuck here I asked my parents to stay as well. Misery loves company, right?? Ha! The truth is that I have no idea how I'm going to care for our 40 pound two-year-old!!
Mom drove me to the outlets today in an effort not to crawl the walls. She told me that I had been through hell so I could buy myself whatever I wanted. So I did! I'm looking forward to returning to work in my nice new white shirt with snazzy black vest. I also got the matching necklace. I love it!! I may even wear it this week so I'll have an authentic work experience without the drive.
I've also found time to surf the net shopping for furniture. I found a piece that I love for the living room and tried to play the cancer card with Dan. But, he informed me that I don't have cancer anymore. Bummer! One week too late!
My recovery itself seems to have plateaued. I've been at about the same place since Thursday. Fortunately it is a good place to be. I think it is the drain tube coming through my skin in my armpit that is causing my residual pain and soreness. The good news is that the fluid has changed to a yellowish color and the amount has decreased significantly. It is still disgusting! I've been weaning myself off my pain pills and hopefully tomorrow will be my first day pill free.
I can't thank everyone enough for the thoughts and prayers that are being sent our way. I am humbled by the amount of love that is out there. Dan and I are trying to figure out how in this world we can give back as much as we have received. I think it is going to take a lifetime! We're going to start by volunteering our time for the Ride for Roswell in June. I should be done with active treatment by that time and will be looking for more opportunities to help.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Recovery
So far so good. I've been home for 24 hours now and am doing well. I slept really well last night. Unfortunately my pain meds only last 6 hours so I work up really sore. But, as soon as I started moving and took my pill, I felt better. It is really only the upper left quarter of my body that is a problem... the rest of me works just fine!
A visiting nurse came this morning and changed my dressings for me. I'm glad she did it because I would have been afraid. The incisions look good and the drain is working as it should. You can't ask for better than that!
The weather was supposed to be really bad today so the schools are closed. But, the significant snow didn't arrive. So here we all are. Dan went to work, but the boys stayed home. It is a good thing mom and dad are here. You don't realize how much lifting you do in a day until you can't do it! All I did was walk in to Ryan's room this morning to peek in on him like I normally do and he started to wake up. I snuck back out before he saw me because I knew I couldn't get him out of the crib. Whoops! I guess I won't check on Ryan tomorrow morning.
I forgot to post about the best part of surgery prep... They have these gowns that are sort of paper, but also cloth-like with different openings and velcro so that there is access where necessary while keeping the patient covered. One of the openings allowed them to hook up a heat tube. It was awesome! I got to decide just how toasty I wanted to be. We need something like that at home... a tube that goes directly from the furnace into my blankets!
The worst part of post-surgery were these velcro pads they put around my lower legs that squeezed on and off like a blood pressure cuffs to keep my blood moving. It was so annoying. I tried to get out of wearing them right away, but wasn't successful until around 3:00am. Persistence pays off.
I'm supposed to keep active and walk. In my opinion the best place to walk is the mall so I've got my sights on a mall walk Friday afternoon... or maybe the outlets during the superbowl. I can't really shop because I can't carry the packages or try anything on, but I can look!
A visiting nurse came this morning and changed my dressings for me. I'm glad she did it because I would have been afraid. The incisions look good and the drain is working as it should. You can't ask for better than that!
The weather was supposed to be really bad today so the schools are closed. But, the significant snow didn't arrive. So here we all are. Dan went to work, but the boys stayed home. It is a good thing mom and dad are here. You don't realize how much lifting you do in a day until you can't do it! All I did was walk in to Ryan's room this morning to peek in on him like I normally do and he started to wake up. I snuck back out before he saw me because I knew I couldn't get him out of the crib. Whoops! I guess I won't check on Ryan tomorrow morning.
I forgot to post about the best part of surgery prep... They have these gowns that are sort of paper, but also cloth-like with different openings and velcro so that there is access where necessary while keeping the patient covered. One of the openings allowed them to hook up a heat tube. It was awesome! I got to decide just how toasty I wanted to be. We need something like that at home... a tube that goes directly from the furnace into my blankets!
The worst part of post-surgery were these velcro pads they put around my lower legs that squeezed on and off like a blood pressure cuffs to keep my blood moving. It was so annoying. I tried to get out of wearing them right away, but wasn't successful until around 3:00am. Persistence pays off.
I'm supposed to keep active and walk. In my opinion the best place to walk is the mall so I've got my sights on a mall walk Friday afternoon... or maybe the outlets during the superbowl. I can't really shop because I can't carry the packages or try anything on, but I can look!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Surgery
The last 24 hours has felt like a month. Dan and I left the house about this time yesterday hoping to be home for dinner after a simple procedure. It was not to be.
After a significant delay at the hospital, I received the first of the bad news... I would have to remove my wedding band. That ring had not left my finger since the minute Dan put it there on September 9, 2000. In reality this wasn't a big deal, but to me it was. It is a good thing that I don't need a ring to know that I have a supportive husband who has been by my side since before our wedding and will continue to be there for many years to come. You know, when they said for better or worse, I didn't anticipate being the "worse" in our relationship. That was supposed to be Dan. Turns out he's the "better."
I don't remember much once they started my IV. I do remember being wheeled down the hall and then waking up asking if my lymph nodes were removed. Of course they were... I could feel it, but I was still hoping they weren't. Things were hazy from there. I know I was upset about the nodes. Dan said I was a mess. I asked about it again this morning and was told that 4 sentinel nodes were removed and one came back positive for cancer so they removed the rest of the lymph nodes from under my arm. They won't know how many were removed until the pathology comes back. I guess the nodes come out in one clump. From here on out I need to remember not to have my blood pressure taken on that arm and not to have blood work on that side. I'll also have to wear a pressure sleeve on airplanes. All minor.
I had to stay overnight which means I didn't sleep much. I think my vitals were taken about every 1/2 hour by a number of different people. My lungs are clear, my blood pressure is good and I don't have a temperature, but sure, why don't you check again??
I have the dreaded drain and it is gross. Once the fluids start running clear I'll take a pic, but right now it would not be pretty. Dan was taught how to "milk" it so he can empty it and measure the liquid twice each day. Poor guy. He's not much into bodily fluids.
I'm hoping I may have lost a few pounds with all of this. I ate dinner Sunday night and didn't eat again until 8:30am this morning. That's 38 hours without food!
So we have one more step complete... finally it is out!
I have an appointment with the radiologist in mid-April so I'm thinking that means radiation doesn't start until then. That gives me a good break to be normal for a bit. Do you think I'll be up for a museum visit next week?? Or, the outlets while everyone is watching the superbowl? Oh, maybe we can go for some spaghetti parmesan followed by something chocolatey... Yummy! I've got to make up for the lack of food yesterday :)
After a significant delay at the hospital, I received the first of the bad news... I would have to remove my wedding band. That ring had not left my finger since the minute Dan put it there on September 9, 2000. In reality this wasn't a big deal, but to me it was. It is a good thing that I don't need a ring to know that I have a supportive husband who has been by my side since before our wedding and will continue to be there for many years to come. You know, when they said for better or worse, I didn't anticipate being the "worse" in our relationship. That was supposed to be Dan. Turns out he's the "better."
I don't remember much once they started my IV. I do remember being wheeled down the hall and then waking up asking if my lymph nodes were removed. Of course they were... I could feel it, but I was still hoping they weren't. Things were hazy from there. I know I was upset about the nodes. Dan said I was a mess. I asked about it again this morning and was told that 4 sentinel nodes were removed and one came back positive for cancer so they removed the rest of the lymph nodes from under my arm. They won't know how many were removed until the pathology comes back. I guess the nodes come out in one clump. From here on out I need to remember not to have my blood pressure taken on that arm and not to have blood work on that side. I'll also have to wear a pressure sleeve on airplanes. All minor.
I had to stay overnight which means I didn't sleep much. I think my vitals were taken about every 1/2 hour by a number of different people. My lungs are clear, my blood pressure is good and I don't have a temperature, but sure, why don't you check again??
I have the dreaded drain and it is gross. Once the fluids start running clear I'll take a pic, but right now it would not be pretty. Dan was taught how to "milk" it so he can empty it and measure the liquid twice each day. Poor guy. He's not much into bodily fluids.
I'm hoping I may have lost a few pounds with all of this. I ate dinner Sunday night and didn't eat again until 8:30am this morning. That's 38 hours without food!
So we have one more step complete... finally it is out!
I have an appointment with the radiologist in mid-April so I'm thinking that means radiation doesn't start until then. That gives me a good break to be normal for a bit. Do you think I'll be up for a museum visit next week?? Or, the outlets while everyone is watching the superbowl? Oh, maybe we can go for some spaghetti parmesan followed by something chocolatey... Yummy! I've got to make up for the lack of food yesterday :)
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